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Feb. 17th, 2013

It's been awhile.

I was reading my old posts and I can't believe all I use to write about was boys and being in love. I was so DRAMATIC. Blogging at its finest huh? Well I'm back, I'll try to get back into this... But to whoever actually still reads- I promise this is a more mature, level-headed career minded woman posting.

Later.

Aug. 24th, 2011

hot pink

LONG TIME.

Long time I haven't been on here. I probably lost all the little bit of friends I had. MY life is a mess. I don't know what I want to major in. I don't know if I wanna go out. I don't know why I dumped my last boyfriend. Well actually, I do know why. He was a lame. I don't know why I cant stick to a diet. I'm not big. But I'm not where I wanna be. Geez. Could I be more depressed or what. Blahhhh.

Sincerly
-that weird girl.

Jan. 30th, 2011

feeling overwhelmed.

not happy at all right now. :( im content, but im worried and not happy :/

Jan. 1st, 2011

Writer's Block: Keep your feet on the ground and keep reaching for the stars

What goals do you hope to achieve by the end of this year?


There are many goals that I have for this year...
-I want to lose weight.
-I want to save lots of money.
-Stop cursing.
-Become closer to god.
-Find a hobby
-Do good in school.!

May. 11th, 2010

i shouldnt have a license.

Today I hit the back of cacas car while pulling out.
I have now a fuckin dent in my car which I am going
To get fixed as soon as possible... This sucks. I'm going
To try to see if I can get it fixed tomorrow... This sucks.

Dec. 2nd, 2009

depressed.

I hate coming from a poor family.
I hate that I can't provide for them like I wish I could.
I hate that she depends on me.

Nov. 25th, 2009

Lost in thought.

Why are females so prone to falling in love.
Why do we want to be in love so bad...
What is it about love that makes us feel so good in side.
Is it the kisses.
Is it the attention you recieve from that one other person.
The crazy thing is sometimes the feelings not mutual with that other person.
Love is a crazy thing.
Why is it?? Why is it that even when everyone can see that the person is no good for you, you still strive to be happ with that other person?
Why is it that when we make mistakes we beat ourselves up for it.
We're only human.

I should have never kissed you back especially when I knew you have a girl.
I should have known better.
I should have stopped it there.
But the kiss was oh so sweet.
Lips so soft.
Tender.
When you kissed me. You kissed me like you were claiming me. Like I was yours. & N0 0NE. no one else could have me. Yours.
That feeling that you gave me had the butterflies hurting.
I was on cloud nine. Smiling from ear to ear.

Why'd you have to have a girl. That you've been with for such a long time.
Why would you do that to her.
And now I think to myself.
If he did it to her. How many other guys actually do that to their girls everyday.
That upsets me. How many times has it happen to me?
I wouldn't know.

& I feel horrible for even being apart of that.
But what if whatever we had that one night. That we kissed. Or the other night when we cuddled and just talked about everything.
What if?
There was actually something there.
Tags:

Nov. 9th, 2009

What am I feeling?

his face makes me happy. I mean yeah that could be with any other dude.
But geesh. This is different.
When we spend time together.
It's lovely.
I've never even used the word lovely before.
& I won't lie.
I'm afraid. I'm afraid of falling for him. Like really bad.
I know I know I'm no where close to that feeling yet.
But like. Idk.
Man his kisses are so sweet and ever so sensual.
It's like heaven. I haven't had someone kiss me oh so good since
Mr.Asshole. It's like I taste a little bit of sweet warm red velvet cake.
with Vanilla icing. Everytime we kiss.
And the way he holds me. Like I'm his prize possesion.
(Sigh) It just drives me wild.
And he's so respectful. If I don't want to do anything.
He'll respect that.
& he did respect it.

One question. Why am I always in a delimma like this.
But this time it's different. Because I know the feelings mutual.
But I really don't want to get hurt.
So what do I do.
What is Alba going to do?

I feel like the only way not to get hurt is to completely ignore him.
But I can't because when I see him it's kind of like
"awww there goes my boo".

But... He's not really mine :(
But he should be. And he shouldn't be with the girl that he's with now.
I just know it.
It's like I'm that kid in first grade about to come out of their seat
raising
there hands as a high as possible for, seeing the answer so clearly in their
mind
and astonished at the fact that no one else no the answer but them.
I'm that kid right now.

Deep.
UGH!

I so hate being a girl.

"I will love you anyway,
even if you cannot stay.
I think you are the one for me,
here is where we are to be..." - Chaka Khan
Tags: ,

Nov. 5th, 2009

i WANT T0 LEARN H0W T0 PLAY BASKETBALL.

S000 i JUST FiNISHED PLAYiNG BASKETBALL && WHAT N0T.
iT WAS FUN. i MEAN i WAS TRYiNG T0 LEARN.
&& i HAD FUN. REALLY i DiD.
i HAVE N0 AiM.
&& i DEFiNATELY HAVE N0 SH0T.
BUT Y0U KNOW WHAT i THiNK i'M GOiNG T0 BUY ME A BASKETBALL AND LEARN H0W T0 PLAY, BECAUSE iT MiGHT BE FUN. && i MiGHT ACTUALLY ENJOY MYSELF. SO ii GUESS WE'LL HAVE T00 SEE WHAT HAPPENS WiTH THAT RiGHT.

i WONDER THOUGH. iS THERE LiKE AN ACTUAL BASKETBALL CAMP THAT'D i'D BE ABLE T0 G0 T0 0R S0METHiNG...
HMMM...


i GUESS WE'LL SEE.
MAYBE WHEN i GET BACK FR0M JAPAN.

CHEESE :)

Oct. 27th, 2009

Uhhh trying to play it cool.

So as I'm getting off he's coming into work. Ofcourse I see him. And I'm real cool with his friends so ofcourse they say something to me about my bangs. Haha all in fun ya know. I try to avoid making eye contact with him even though it was real difficult.
I'm just playing it cool acting like I actually have some work to do. And then while I was with the whole night check waiting on the bus. We're just clowning as usual. You know nothing out of the normal. I see him walk pass. And I knew he was looking for me. And I know he saw me I just didn't look at him. It's not that I was trying to ignore him. I just didn't want to you know have it be awkward. Ugh. Idk. Maybe I shouldv'e said hi.

Oooh god.

&& I can't stop thinking about his kiss. Funny right???
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